Pages

Wednesday 6 May 2020

Out of control

Sentence challenge!
Can you use ‘Show, don’t tell’ to describe the driver’s feelings?

He was shaking and sweat was coming down his head he looked like he was lifting
something really really heavy.


Sick sentences!
These sentences are ‘sick’ and need help to get better. Can you help?


He looked out of the window. It was snowy. He was scared. He could see something.

He looked out the window he was shaking. he could only see white. wait he could see something.









  
  







1 comment:

  1. HI Ashton... Remember that show don't tell mean that you're going to use descriptive language to show the reader what it looks, sounds, feels like etc... rather than just explicitly saying what happened e.g. Shaking like a leaf, the sweat poured from his head. - Make your reader do some of the work. Your words imply that he might've been lifting something heavy so you don't need to say it, they can read between the lines.
    This is a really good skill to get into the habit of doing so keep practicing it! I can't way to see the next one!

    ReplyDelete

Comments

Please structure your comments as follows:
Positive - Something done well
Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say
Helpful - Give some ideas for next time or Ask a question you want to know more about